“Why would we want a stranger in our personal business?!“
“How is talking going to solve my problems?”
It wouldn’t be unusual if you have been on either side of one of these phrases, often said emphatically or mockingly.
Underneath these rhetorical questions I suspect the bigger concern is what is the cost-to-benefit ratio here? “You want me to share parts of myself and my life with a stranger, parts that I have rarely or never shared with anyone before and pay good money for it?! What for?“
So let’s talk about it; why consider therapy?
Psychotherapy or talk therapy (used interchangeably) is an intervention that uses research orientated strategies and techniques to support you in better understanding and intervening in mental and emotional distress.
How does it do this?
- Gather information about ourselves
So many of our responses or reactions can seem inherent or just a part of our personality, therefore rigid and fixed. I have seen how this can leave people feeling judgment towards themselves, helpless, and stuck in repetitive cycles. We are influenced by our environments, relationships and experiences (past and present), in both the best and most distressing ways. So it follows that our behaviours, reactions and maybe even some of our traits are affected by these environments, relationships and experiences. We may feel empowered once we understand the source and motivation behind certain reactions and behaviours. To understand the function of our responses allows us empathy for ourselves and those around us, and creates space to engage in a different way and ultimately feel less stuck.
2. Gather more accurate information about ourselves.
Therapy aims to hold a mirror to the client, within a relationship where the therapist is someone who cares for your wellbeing BUT has ‘no dog in the fight’. The aim of holding a mirror up to you is to help you see yourself more accurately. This can be hard to do if the person holding the mirror is obscuring your image with their image of you and their image of themselves through you. So often our families, friends and romantic partners have opinions about who we are or should be and what it means if we aren’t these things. So much so, that it’s hard to really SEE yourself. A healthy therapeutic space aims to facilitate accurately seeing yourself and figuring out what parts may/may not be serving you.
Now, all pretense aside, because therapists are obviously fully human they are not void of these influences or biases. However, through various therapeutic tools, supervision and other resources there is a goal of this being productively directed and where not manageable there are steps taken to protect all parties.
(see more on ‘benefits of therapy’ in our upcoming post).
Soft Landings 